It’s been two weeks since I’ve published words here or written a status on Facebook or posted
a picture on Instagram.
I have missed it. But I’ve been busy being present.
“Busy”not missing the gifts right in from of me. Big family dinners and cousins running joy-laugh
wild. Bundle-up frigid hikes and God-glory casting light. Endless hours of Lego building and
fireplace glowing and living. Each moment. Wonder-full.
And in doing so I’ve realized that sometimes when I flick away from the moment I’m in to click
away a cropped and filtered snapshot for the world to see, maybe I’m not being fully present
long enough for my heart to fully see. To see the full beauty and grace and give-thanks-for
treasure of this should-not-be-interrupted moment.
Maybe when I wait for instant feedback with what everyone else thinks about my
Intsagrammed life or when I continually check in on what’s happening with those I follow,
maybe I’m not really waiting for God’s feedback on my happenings, not checking in first
with the One I Follow.
So I’ve taken a short break—to be all in. (Not because I’m anti-social media. I actually enjoy it.
Partially adore it for the goodness is can offer and the connection, community it can help
cultivate.) But because I needed to hit the reset button again on the pattern of my thinking
heart.
Live first. Savor fully, first.
Linger longer.
Give thanks wholly.
Let God’s holiness permeate my heart before I premeditate a post.Friends, it’s been so good.
As I’ve spent these last two weeks adventuring to seek God’s presence by being fully present,
I’ve also been purposing to seek His plan for my future.
Old years ending and new ones beginning will do that.
I get excited about blank calendars and endless possibilities. I wonder what unexpected
blessings God has in store and what challenges will accompany them. So I set aside some time
for just me and God—to talk, to dream, to plan. I was also thinking perhaps this would be the
year I jumped in and chose One Word, one word to define, inspire, and direct the path ahead.
When Reflection Is the First Direction
But as I sat down with Bible open, pen and journal poised in ready posture, gung ho to hear
from God about His grand 2015 plans for me—this blog and ministry, family affairs and
personal growth—I was quite surprised by the first thing the Spirit said.
(I’m confident it was God’s voice seeping through my thoughts because what came to mind was
not at all what I had been thinking.)
He said, “Before you can look to the year ahead, I want you to look at the year behind. Take
stock of what I’ve done before you ask me what I will yet do. And give thanks.”
Write down what you’ve done, God? Give thanks, God? Haven’t I already done that? Haven’t
I questioned (with a little confusion and a tinge of bad attitude) if I had sensed the Spirit
correctly.
“Yes. Do it again, Becky. Remember. Record. Give thanks. Again.”
So that’s what I did.
And you know what? I was astounded.
Though I’ve joined all the joy-darers by adding daily to scribbled lists of the ways I see God’s
gifts, though I’ve purposed to awaken to wonder and documented the work He’s doing, I found
that the stretched out discipline of marking my spiritual journey slowly throughout the year
does not have the same impact as an exercise of recalling and re-recording all of God’s major
movement, blessing, and divine orchestration in my life, 365 days strong, in one bird’s-eye-view
sitting.
The perspective was beautiful.
Over and over I remembered significant ways God had worked through everyday
circumstances to draw me closer to Him. How He had intervened and opened doors and
communicated His heart and purpose through friends new and old, online and in real life. My
black ball point pen couldn’t keep up with the sudden flood of God-did-this memories.
His Amazing Grace. All over the page.
I think what made me joy-baffled most in looking back at so many unequivocal blessings is
that 2014 wasn’t always a year of happy endings.
It was actually a year with a whole lot of
ache and loss.
heartbreaks of miscarriage and chronic illness, uncovering abuse and betrayal, devastating
Mourning with those who mourn. I’ve been on my knees with somber heart, sobbing cries, and
puffy eyes too many times to count.
Yet, by looking back, I see that through the sadness and muck of sin, God’s hand has been on
me. His grace has been abundant. His provision perfect.
When You’re Waiting to Forge into the FutureAnd I now see that through the heart-aching and soul-blessing, 2014 has also been a year of
calling.
As I chronicled God’s work in my life, I identified three specific calls.The call to write. The call to speak. The call to rest.
This past year the Lord confirmed that words are not just my fascination, delight, and internal
processing device; they are also part of my Kingdom blessing. Words written and words spoken
are my toolbox to encourage women on their faith journey. Using them for Him makes me come
alive! It’s more than a hobby. It’s a calling.
And so it is with rest. I will always recall 2014 as the year God invited me into Sabbath keeping,
into holy, purposeful rest. I hope to share more about this in the year ahead, but for now I’ll say
that it’s been a deep soul conviction and life-giving spiritual awakening that I didn’t know I
needed or was missing. I learned that Sabbath rest is not just an archaic command to be kept.
It’s a gift to be savored. A universal calling to live.
Blessings, stressings. Sorrow, joy. Grace and gifts and three foundational callings. So what does
this all add up to? I wondered.
Reflection is fantastic but what does it mean for my future?
When My One Word Found MeAnd then without word-smithing or creative crafting, my One Word for the year emerged:
Continue.
Continue to write.
Continue to speak.
Continue to rest.
Continue to awaken to wonder and trust Me for the rest.Immediately two passages from Scripture came to mind.
And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as Lord, you must CONTINUE to
follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him.
Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will
overflow with thankfulness.
–Colossians 2:6-7 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will CONTINUE
his work until it is finally finished on the day Christ Jesus returns.
-Philippians 1:6
I was waiting for something new, exciting, different. But instead God showed me that He is
already up to something significant. And I have the humble joy of being invited to continue with
Him on the journey.
Continue following God on the path He is revealing. Continue being faithful in the big and
small of faith steps He’s providing.
Faithful in making school lunches and singing bedtime songs of prayer. In tapping out blog posts
and sharing the gritty struggle and beauty of life in Christ with women who want to hear.
Continue logging off the computer and reheating leftovers so Sundays can be set apart for naps
and prayer and sitting long with Jesus. Continue in what I am doing.
And believe that God will continue the work He began. Using my brokenness and grief and
messy mama heart for my good and His glory.
Continue.
It wasn’t the artistic or whimsical or super spiritual word I was hoping for, expecting. But I
believe it holds the key to more art and whimsy and spiritual growth with the One I always
Hope for.
So I will continue.