I’ve started this post four times.
I know you’re not supposed to write that. Or that.
But here’s the thing friends…
I want to finish this series eloquently. I want to wrap it all up in a neat and pretty bow. I want to succinctly and inspirationally tell you how writing 31 Days to Awaken to Wonder has radically transformed me and others. I want to be poetic and profound and find a way to share all the corners of my heart and scratched out notes and well-planned ideas that never made it into one of my posts.
But after starting four times and painstakingly working my way through mixed metaphors and faltering story hooks, I recognized (yet again) that perfect isn’t the point. That I don’t have to have life-changing takeaways or deep soul lessons all perfectly synthesized, analyzed, ready for distribution and mass consumption.
I don’t have to have it all together.
I don’t have to have it all figured out.
Because I don’t.
But what I can tell you is that I have changed. Grown. Deepened. Awakened.
Not because I’m super spiritual but because I asked God to work. To show up.
And He did.
He reminded me of truths I already knew and etched them deeper on my heart with every word I wrote. Like the joy and splendor of creation! How His love for beauty and creativity is hardwired into all He created, including you and me.
So when I’m hiking in the mountains alone or hunting grasshoppers in the backyard with my boys and I feel a tingle, a tug, down in my soul, I know that it’s deep calling to deep. It’s what God made speaking to how He made me so that I may know more of Him.
Creation. Full of wonder. In it I awaken.
I have changed through the wonder of God’s Word. Through remembering significant ways He used the Living Truth to reach through a thin crinkly page to the most tender places in my heart.
Until I wrote about my most unlikely friend, I hadn’t thought about Ritsuko in years. I had forgotten what God had done. Remembering was awakening.
And what joy He gave in recalling the night He reached into my weary new mama reality and ignited a dream and calling. Gave me the verse that would guide my life.
Taking on a writing challenge like this with three small kids, a part time job, and all that comes with being a mother, wife, homemaker, (and a person who likes to regularly shower) was not a slight feat. I sacrificed time and sleep and clean laundry. Most days I dropped into bed utterly bone weary. But even the bone weariness was for a God-ordained purpose.
The Word. Full of wonder. By it I awaken.
Then there was all that business about the power of thanksgiving and perspective changing. Again, truths I know, experiences I’ve lived. But it was in the writing, recording, declaring God’s goodness all over again that my soul awakened from its sleepy, ho-hum state.
And sharing that one about how jealousy edged out my joy and ignited my ugly attitude of ingratitude—that was hard. Hard to remember. Hard to write. Yet life giving. Wonder filling to look back on where I was then and where God has brought me now.
Cultivating gratitude and changing perspective. Through them I awaken.
* * * * *
Before the month began, I prayed that through this series I would be able to lead others on a journey of living eyes wide open, heart soft to surrender to the wonder-full things of God that invite us to the full life to which we are called. I hoped to see others with hearts more alive and connected to Jesus than before these 31 autumn days began.
But with a challenge like this it’s hard not to wonder if anyone was reading. If all the heart convictions and soul stirrings poured out in inkless posts made any difference at all. Or if in this #write31days saturated blogosphere if they were just more Internet spam falling on deaf ears.
But in my questioning I heard this whisper:
Your ears were open, Becky. And I was speaking. You listened and were changed. That is enough. Because I am more than enough. I am WONDER.
Yes, Father. Yes.
And I’m so grateful for the journey You took me on to awaken to You.
Find all the 31 Days to Awaken to Wonder posts here.
If this series was meaningful to you, I would be so blessed to hear from you.
Would you share in the comments one way God worked in your life or opened your heart to His wonder? It doesn’t have to be bow wrapped or word tidy. I’m good with raw and real.